The Scary Guy Is Real

The scary guy is real, and he tried to break into my house last night. I have been going back and forth about if I should blog about this or not, because there are certain people who are strongly opposed to where we chose to buy our house. And we hear about it all the time. "Why did you buy THAT house?" Well - because we're poor, and we can't afford to live up in The Benches. That's why! But that's a whole other story ... And I am going to tell you all what happened last night anyway.

Since we didn't go trick-or-treating, we spent the night at home, as usual. I had just gotten the kids bathed and ready for bed. I didn't want any trick-or-treaters ringing the doorbell (since we had all of ZERO kids anyway) so I turned off most of the house lights and the porch lights. My van is in the shop, and Tim was at work, so there were no cars in our driveway. Conveniently, it looked like no one was home.

So we're sitting in the living room, and our house alarm went off. That sucker is LOUD! My first reaction was, "What the hell?!?!" and then I got scared. Because I realized that someone probably just tried to break into the house through one of the windows. The kitchen window, to be exact.

So I ran to turn the alarm off, and then I was all like, "No WAY am I turning it off! If someone is still outside, I'm leaving it on!" Instead, I ran through the house and turned on all the inside and outside lights. Then waited a little while longer, and then turned off the very loud alarm.

Now, the alarm company is supposed to call soon after the alarm goes off to make sure I didn't open a window myself, or just burn dinner - again. But it seemed to be taking forever for them to call. So I took matters into my own hands and called 9-1-1. While I was on the phone with 9-1-1, the alarm company beeped in, so I put 9-1-1 on hold. HA! Just kidding. I didn't. Can you imagine?

"Hello 9-1-1 What is your emergency?"

"Oh, hey - can you hold a minute. Someone is on the other line."

OK - so I kept talking to the operator, and they sent a police woman over to my house who looked strangely like Angela from "The Office."

As you can imagine, the little punks were gone by the time the cops got there. She assured me that it was probably a Halloween "thing" and that she can understand exactly why I was scared, because, Good Hell! Look where I live?!?! Then she reinforced this notion by explaining to me just what a scary neighborHOOD I live in. Like I was completely unaware of the crime and debauchery going on around me. Well -that's why we had an alarm system installed the day after we moved in! And I didn't feel like explaining for the 1047th time that why we live here, and not up in The Benches, is because it's about the only place we can afford.

So we're all alive. Jackson slept with me last night. And we started on plans this morning to sell our house and move up into The Benches. Just kidding.