I have been quite annoyed lately. I'm not even sure I can write down what's been annnoying me into words that are coherent and that actually express exactly what it is. I know what it is in my head, but I'm not sure I can convey to anyone else what I am feeling.
*I am really tired of the messages that our culture is sending women. We're supposed to be gorgeous and successful. Look at the televison. Look at the magazines. Those women aren't real women. Plastic surgery of all kinds. Women's skin isn't real. Their breasts aren't real. Their hair isn't real. And I've even seen women going in and getting calf inplants. What was wrong with your REAL calves? What's wrong with your real hair. Your real breasts. A little wrinkle or two on your face. And even knowing that they aren't real, why do we beat ourselves up about not looking like that? Why WOULD you want to look like that? Everything fake. We all pride ourselves on being "individuals" and we make believe and tell ourselves that we "celebrate diversity" ... but do we really? I don't beleive our culture does. We should all be wearing size 2, have 36D perky breasts, and long, luxurious locks of hair flowing from our head, highlighting our flawless skin. And anyone who says that they have never wanted any of these things isn't being honest with themselves.
I personally have my ups and downs about things. Some days I am OK with myself, and some days I'm not. I would be lying if I said I didn't wish my stretch marks would magically disapper, and wish my boobs would somehow raise themselves off the floor and quit sagging from nursing 2 babies. But if I didn't have those things, then I wouldn't have those two very beautiful, very precious babies. So why not celebrate them? These are my battle scars from harboring, growing, nourishing, and creating life within myself. That is beautiful. That is what we should be celebrating and aspiring to. Not all these fake, superficial things like Botox.
*Secondly, we're supposed to somehow balance school, career, raising children, church and other volunteer callings, all while wearing high heels and a smile on our face. Our houses should never be dirty. Our children should always be happy. We should be good cooks. We're supposed to make a lot of money, live in a big house, drive a nice car, and wear the most instyle clothes.
Says WHO? Who is dictating that this is the way we should be? Who is setting these impossibly high standards that make us, as women, feel terrible about ourselves when we can't meet them?
Why can't I just be a mom? Just be a mom in her sweatpants, hair pulled back, no make-up on. A mom whose house is dirty, whose kids can be annoying and loud and sometimes cranky. And why can't I be that mom and be happy about it? Be comfortable with it?
So these are the things that are bothering me. And maybe tomorrow I will be OK with my half bald scalp, my pudgy mom belly, those stretch marks. Maybe tomorrow I will be ok with my dirty house, the bread I burnt last night, and the fact that Jackson is running around in high-water pants, or no pants at all. But today - today these things are bothering me.
9 comments:
i loooooooooove it! be you. who knows what perpetuates the sickness. i struggle with that too katie, i dare anyone to find someone who doesn't.
i am usually ok but last weekend i was with someone who was "i'm fatting" and i started looking at her thinking what the !@$@, if your fat then what the hell does that make me!?!
i think much of our perception is influenced by our social group, so sure, if you watch the crap on tv or surround yourself with those who are drowning themselves in negativity then you are going to feel it and soon believe it.
i love you wonderful lady!
i almost cried reading that. i believe it is one of the hugest trials we will face in our day. it is literally a plague, a huge waste of time. and we will live sad regretful lives if we pursue it. even the book of mormon references it, its called the great and spacious building! we are not to go near it! we are commanded to progress toward a different destination. im reminding myself as i type because it is a daily daily struggle. keep searching for truth and sifting through the lies.
I think we all are more alike than we think.. To become happy with who we truly are is a hard thing to do. Thanks for sharing. We are promised to be able to recognize truth over error. I think we all need to keep praying for that.
You've put Womankind's Daily Struggle out there for all of us! What really gets me is that I don't follow the same advice I give my children. Be thankful for all you have in your life, instead of sad for the things you don't. Be PROUD of yourself and your accomplishments, don't diminish them by pointing out that someone else did better. You get the idea....
Thanks for sharing - hope tomorrow we can both embrace our stretch marks!
Personally, I love all the things that you have that says that you have had children... I can't imagine our family with out your kids. And I hope someday to have the same problems: stretch marks, saggy breasts, wider hips, the whole 10 yards, if it means that I'll have my own children.
Here's a song that makes me feel better when I'm down on myself:
Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depending on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul
I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a super model
but I learned to love myself unconditionally because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
no matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie (I like to insert my own name here)
When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
and I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes
I'm lovin what I see....
....My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knows
but I"ve drawn the conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the game, a misconception, a mass (vast?) deception, something's gotta change....
....So get in where you fit in, go on and shine clear your mind, now's your time put your salt on the shelf go on and love yourself everything's going to be alright...
...Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I dont need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar, all I need is my guitar...
...Don't need your silicon, I prefer my own
what God gave me is just fine
Oh, Katie. Thank you. Thank you for being you -- for being human. I know it's hard not to feel down because we're not practically perfect in every way, especially when all around us tells us that how we should be. But you know? I'm with Sara and everyone else who's commented so far: I'm glad to have these deficiencies (if one can honestly call them that). It means that I am getting what I want most out of my life: to stay home with my children, to even have a home to mess up, to have the desire to bake every once in a while, even if it means it'll come out tasting nasty, to have at least a few cute shirts, even if the rest of my wardrobe is old, worn looking and ill-fitting. I'm not a perfect girl, but I sure feel lucky.
I totally agree. Sometimes it is hard to determine if I think I have been "letting myself go" or feeling the pressure of what I am suppose to be.
i am SO feeling the same way!
plastic surgery is becoming the norm of my WARD. i never thought in my wildest dreams that it would infiltrate the church. but here it is! i just can't understand their priorities.
we can be real moms together!
i love you!
You are an amazing writer... and you bring up such interesting topics. I actually thought a lot on this particular issue you wrote about for a few days. I wondered to myself if I allow society to dictate what I do or how I feel about certain things... and I know there is a part of me that let's that happen. But, I also know that I am happy with who I am... I like me! I don't work out because I want to look good for anyone, well, maybe except for Niel. I work out for myself. I know personally I wouldn't feel good being over weight. I feel so much better being healthy... my body feels better and in return I feel better. The same is true with my house or my kids. I don't mind that they are a little loud. I don't care if I get a strange stare at the grocery store when Zander throws a fit or Garrett punches Stockton in the face. I do care that they are nice to each other and love one another. I care because I want them to be happy. So, I try to take care of the bad behavior. I want our home to be a place we all want to call home. When the house is a mess, it isn't a place I want to be in.... so, we keep it as clean as we can. It isn't sparkling, but it is clean to us.
I guess is what I am trying to say is... who cares what others think. Who cares what society says. What should really matter is what YOU think or how YOU feel. Be happy with who you are. If you personally don't feel good, change it. But change it because YOU want to, not because someone else thinks you should.
Post a Comment