The Seventh Sense

OK, Folks. Let me just make sure everyone understands something, here. I really do know how to punctuate correctly. I just don't always do it on my blog.

There. I said it.

One of my favorite books is Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. Guess what the ENTIRE book is about? Punctuation. It's hilariously hilarious. If you have that "seventh sense."

(See - there I did it again. I didn't punctuate correctly! If I were the stickler I claim to be, I would have written, "It's hilarious, if you have that 'seventh sense.'" But, I didn't. Because where's the fun in that?)

Here's the opening paragraph of Lynne's book.

"Either this will ring bells for you, or it won't. A printed banner has appeared on the concourse of a petrol station near where I live. "Come inside," it says, "for CD's, VIDEO's, DVD's, and BOOK's."

"If this satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes causes no little gasp of horror or quickening of the pulse, you should probably put down this book at once. By all means congratulate yourself that you are not a pedant or even a stickler; that you are happily equipped to live in a world of plummeting punctuation standards; but just don't bother to go any further. For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word "Book's" with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated.

"First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of permanent marker."

I'm laughing hysterically right now. Tim thinks it's just straight up lame. You know what category YOU fit into ...

OK, I use incorrect punctuation on my blog. It's a style thing, I guess. Mainly, I use it for emphasis.

Because, really, if I were writing a paper for Lifespan Psych, in MLA format, do you seriously think I'd put a period at the End. Of. Every. Word?

So, I apologize to any really, really lame punctuation sticklers. I hope you keep reading, even if it does send your heart rate sky high, and gives you the urge to cover your computer screen with permanent marker.