Gluten What?

Mia has always been weird. From the get-go. First, she was born with red hair? Where did that come from? (I love it, by the way.) But, it was still kinda weird. She's always puked a lot more than a normal child. And she always has this weird diarrhea. Sometimes it's even white. (This is probably going to be one of those TMI blogs - FYI.) This diarrhea is like acid. The minute it touches her skin it begins eating it away. She has had some of the most horrifying, blistered diaper rashes I have ever seen. Then, she will be constipated for days. This little cycle repeats itself every few weeks.

We've discussed this with her doctor several times, but this last time we had some new information. My little sis just found out she has celiac disease, or, as most people know it, a gluten allergy. And it's genetic. Can anyone guess what Mia has? Yep - celiac. Can anyone guess what Jackson has? Yep - celiac. (His symptoms are different, but definitely weird.) Can anyone guess what mama most likely has (even though I haven't officially been tested) ? That would explain the constant tummy problems I've had since junior high. Chronic appendicitis, anyone?

So - my first question was, "What the bleep-ety bleep is gluten?" It's a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye. What's the cure? Stop eating wheat, barley, and rye. OK - that doesn't sound too bad. Except when you really start thinking about it. No bread - white or wheat. No pasta. No cookies, cake, or brownies. No mac and cheese. No waffles. No creamy soups or salad dressings. No CHICKEN NUGGETS!! They might as well have told me that we were allergic to air.

Celiac disease isn't just an allergy. It's actually an autoimmune disease - which means when you eat gluten, your body essentially attacks itself. First, it goes for the little cells in your digestive tract, called microvilli, that absorb nutrients. It can even start attacking your pancreas - causing diabetes, and your reproductive organs - causing infertility.

So, in my research I found that you can cook with rice flour. Potato starch flour. Tapioca flour. Xantham gum? Anyone heard of xantham gum, let alone tried to cook with it?

So I bought the weird stuff listed above (for a small fortune). I also bought a cookbook called Gluten Free Kids. And then I made pancakes this morning. It was like trying to mold gooey play dough into a circle and cook it. I might also mention it tasted like gooey play dough. I can honestly say I have never used so much syrup in my whole life.

Turns out, my mom's dad's dad (my great-grandpa) was allergic to wheat! Honestly, why couldn't we have inherited money, instead?

So, next time you all bite into a nice juicy hamburger on a bun, or a peanut butter sandwich - take a bite for us. Cause we'll be eatin' xantham gum.