Everything happens for a reason. Do you believe that? Because I don't. Don't get me wrong; I believe some things happen for a reason, but not everything happens for a reason.
Some things just happen.
They happen, and then you're left with choices. Choices about how to react. How to act. How to think. Sometimes choosing the next step can be painstakingly confusing. I believe we tell ourselves that "things happens for a reason" because it makes us feel better about the situation as a whole, which leads us to confuse those illusory "reasons" for what are really consequences - good or bad. I have no control over other people's choices, and sometimes the choices those other people are making can have serious impact on my life.
We choose what to do with the things that happen to us. We choose to be bitter. We choose to pick ourselves back up, dust off our hands and keep pressing forward. We choose to be angry. We choose to say, "What can I learn from this?" We choose.
So, no, I don't believe everything happens for a reason. Some of you may disagree. Actually, my other half strongly disagrees with me about this.
Take our current situation. Did Tim get fired for a reason? Is there something better out there waiting for us? We don't know yet. Maybe it happened for a reason. And, get this: Maybe. It. Didn't. Some of you might see that as pessimistic. I see it as realistic.
Pessimistic would be sitting around crying about it (which, I'm not going to lie, sometimes I do). Pessimistic would be raising my fist to the heavens and angrily proclaiming, "Why me?" Pessimistic would be resigning to the fact that "I knew it! The universe hates me."
Realistic is saying, "This sucks." And then picking up and moving on. Realistic is looking at the options, however lousy they might be right now, and choosing one. Realistic is possibly coming to the realization that maybe this didn't happen for a reason. Maybe it just happened. And now we have to choose a different path - and believe me - there are so many.
So, what about you? Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
12 comments:
I actually really agree with you. Lots of things simply happen because that is life, we're here to experience all of it, the good and the bad. Other things happen because of the choices of others and some things happen because of our own choices. Then every once in a while something happens because there is a reason for it. I would argue that all of the things that happen to us in life can be opportunities to learn and to draw closer to the Lord and to our families, if we let them. Best of luck in the decisions that lay ahead for your family.
Katie,
I don't post often but this one really touches close to what I believe. The opportunity to reply to your questions has helped me understand more clearly my own mind. In my search to write down my thoughts I came across this message, which seems to answer many of the questions you posed in your post. It seems to have more authority coming from a General Authority.
Please take the time to read the following from Hartman Rector, Jr. now an emeritus general authority. He has much success in the mission field. I believe baptizing more than any other person in these latter-days. I have had the privilege of meeting him and Aubrey actually received a blessing under his hands. (Stories for another time.) I can attest that he is very positive in his outlook.
He speaks very direct and boldly (as most General Authorities) on this important vital matter.
http://scriptures.byu.edu/gettalk.php?ID=742&CID=41548#dest
or here:
http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/Ensign/1979.htm/ensign%20may%201979%20.htm/following%20christ%20to%20victory.htm?f=templates$fn=document-frame.htm$3.0$q=$x=
I would love to hear your thoughts regarding the article.
-Jonathan
Katie, my dear. I'm sorry you are in this situation. It must be very stressful.
I personally don't know how much in our lives happen for a reason. Maybe all of it and I just don't realize it, or maybe very little of it. I just know that it is what we decide to do about it that refines us. If each trial we face allows us to humble ourselves and come closer to the Lord and makes us more in tune with the Spirit, then it's worth it. And maybe it is that process of becoming more in tune with the Spirit, and being able to see more clearly the hand of the Lord in our lives, that makes us recognize how maybe everything does happen for a reason after all?
Either way, I know you are strong and that you will find the purpose of this trial. Good luck as you find your next path in life, and seriously, if there is anything I can do, let me know.
It all depends on how you look at the word "reason." Maybe the reason, in Heavenly Fathers eyes, is an opportunity for growth, increased faith, to be tried. It is a tough question. Its tough because I believe that God's hand is in all things. Miracles can happen. For example, when Christ made the blind man see in the scriptures. Why was the man blind? Was there a reason for him being blind other than it just happening? Was it so that the power of Christ could be manifested in his life? We learn that Christ's strength is made perfect in weakness. This is a good question though. Im going to keep thinking. This question is so applicable for us in our every day lives. Thanks for asking it.
I don't necessarily think that things happen for a reason, but I do think that, once I'm blessed with hindsight, the things that have happened to me had to have happened in the order that they did. (Does that make sense?) Hindsight is such a wonderful thing, and you will get yours soon, I promise. You're in my thoughts often, Katie. Keep plugging away and taking those steps into the darkness...the light's gonna catch up real soon.
I have been contemplating your post for several days now. I really like the way you think and the way you get me thinking!
I wish I had some great words of wisdom, but all I can base my thoughts on are my own personal life experiences.
Does everything happen for a reason? I think it does... what that reason is, I couldn't say. But I do know that everything that happens to each of us in our lives is part of our test here on earth. You touched on this a little... the reason is for our own growth and benefit. Trials are a part of life. I can think of many trials in my life which have seemed so hopeless at the time. I had wondered 'why me?' and I have often thought that there couldn't be a reason for the hard time. But, after some time, often many years later, I look back on that challenge in life and I realized I had learned so much. I am a stronger person for it. And, more importantly, I learned something for myself. And maybe I can take that knowledge and share it with others... like my children. Almost of things other people do that end of effecting me, either positively or negatively... it is my choice as to how I handle it. And trust me, there have been several times in my life when my life has been turned upset down because of someone else's choices. I am still trying to grow and learn from choices of others and believe I will be faced with that always in my life. I hope I have just learned to enjoy life. I hope I have learned to be happy. I hope that no matter what comes my way I can grow from it, pick myself up and go forward.... even when it is hard.
Anyway... I have rambled enough. But I loved your post. Thanks for getting my thoughts flowing and also for the chance to count my blessings. Love you!
i echo emily. i think you have to find the hand of the lord in all that you do. i think that even though this situation feels completely like a blow to your world (and it IS)... you don't know what lies ahead, and the blessings that await you.
i know it's hard. it really is. and i'm so sorry. i promise you that one day you'll look back and wonder why you were freaking out so badly. not any day soon though!
we need to get together to play! when can you come over?
I believe that everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is just to give us experience. I can't believe that Heavenly Father would send us on this important task of mortal life and then just leave things to happen however and for no particular reason. Things do happen, but all things typify Christ and everyday is an opportunity to look for God's love and His tender mercies in our lives. There must be opposition in all things, so sometime the purpose for something happening is this truth. OFTEN WE PROVIDE THE OPPOSITION by our own attitudes and reactions. I love Nephi's psalm in 2 Nephi 4:15-35. The reason for some things happening is so that we can reaffirm our relationship with diety and remember who we are and why we are here. That is what I belive.
I believe that everything happens for a general reason but many times not for a specific reason. The general reason has been alluded to in other posts - that we are here for the mortal experience and what we can learn from it. I agree with you that you can drive yourself crazy if you start looking for specific reasons for specific experiences - sometimes those answers are not available, i.e why did I get sick?, why did I lose my job? Why am I poor? Why did my co-worker get a raise and I didn't; Why did I have this accident? etc. etc. The general reason is that this life is a divine tutorial that is designed to lead us to knowledge through experience. The specific answer to the specific experience is often unavailable to us. Can God put specific experiences into our lives to teach us a specific principle or to give us a specific insight - I absolutely believe he can and that he does. Is everything that happens in our life a specific experience designed to teach us a specific lesson? I do not believe that it is or that our existence works that way. If our existence works that way then we must not only give God credit for every good thing that happens in the world but he must bear the responsibility for all the bad things that happen in the world - something I am not prepared to do. I would venture to say that almost all of our experiences that feel negative are the result of our own bad choices or the bad choices of another person or persons independent of God's will. There are great glaring exceptions to this since I believe that God will reach out, from time to time, and insert something into our lives to help us develop. The tough part is discerning what experiences are God inserting his influence and what experiences are the result of our own choosing. I believe that if you can find a nexus between a choice of ours or a choice of another and the experience in question, then the experience is not of God's making. Does God still use these situations to teach us? The beauty of the system is that even experiences that don't result from God's inserting himself can still be used by him to further his purposes. I also believe that when we have an experience that teaches us, either that feels good or bad, and we can find no nexus between a choice of ours or the choice of another and the experience we are in a situation where there is a high liklihood that Heavenly Father has inserted himself in some way. Obviously, we may just be blind to the nexus. Let me give some specific familial experiences that may make this more clear. Dennis and Roberta had MD. Is there a nexus between their disease and a choice they made or the choice another person made? No, therefore the liklihood that God has inserted himself in their lives is high. I am sitting here losing sleep blogging at 10:07 PM. Is there a nexus between a choice of mine or that of another person and my loss of sleep? There is - it is Katie's fault for posing such questions. Darn kids - they keep you awake even when they grow up. You get my point.
I think I agree with others that it depends on how you define reason. When you say reason, you are ascribing responsibility to someone. The way I see it there is a reason for everything, but the responsibilities differ. God is the reason/responsible for natural disasters. People are the reason/responsible for abuse. It's important to note that God never sins by inflicting trials on us through because he has the bigger picture and the trials he gives us are ALWAYS for our own good. God is always there to help us through our trials, even when we are the ones responsible for them (sins). I know you'll get through this- and you'll likely find that you're better for it. Hang in there.
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