Baby Talk.

We're having a baby!! Anyone else surprised? I kinnda am.  I am finally coming to the realization that it's gonna happen whether I'm ready or not.  Because obviously the 2 pink lines, the nausea, the heartbeat, the ultrasound, and the constant movement in my belly just weren't quite enough to convince me.

It hit me one morning after work.  I had been awake all day, worked all night, and had been asleep for about 3 1/2 hours when I woke up and had an overwhelming urge to organize, throw out, and/or remodel every room of my house.  When I say "overwhelming," I mean OVER.WHELMING! as in my heart was racing, I could hardly breathe, and I couldn't keep my legs still while I laid in bed.  So for the next 4 hours I cleaned and organized and threw out.  (Luckily I didn't get a hold of any sledge hammers and start ripping out walls for a remodeling project, although it did cross my mind.) Then I went back to work another 12 hour shift.  And now my immune system has rebelled, and I have some kind of upper respiratory infection/flu.  And I get to take Tylenol for my aching head, sore muscles, sore throat, ear ache, and stuffy nose.  I might as well put a band aid across my tonsils and call it good.  I think the last time I had the flu was when I was pregnant with Mia, and that turned into a sinus infection, double ear infection, and pneumonia.  I need healing vibes sent my way because I am not doing that again!

So far this has been a very hard pregnancy for me, not just physically, but emotionally as well. (Or maybe it's because it has been 5 years and I simply don't remember?) In between the nausea, sciatic nerve, back pain, debilitating headaches, and heartburn, I have had some serious mood swings.  And I mean serious.  As in going from happy, to pure rage, to sobbing - all within a matter of minutes.  Poor, poor Tim.  Some days I'm pretty sure (and he's pretty sure) I'm going to serve him with divorce papers - but don't worry, we'll get married again when this is all over with.  And my poor, sweet children.  I apologize to them every night for being a mean, cranky mommy.  Luckily, they forgive me every time. 

The other night I apologized to Tim for being a totally insane, crazy person (probably right before I went on a total rage rampage).  He said, "It hasn't been that bad.  You haven't thrown anything at me." And I said, "Yet."  Yes - this is my brain on progesterone. 

And I have decided that having September babies is for the birds.  What's that definition for stupidity?  Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results?  I apparently fit right into that category.  Two September babies is two too many for that month.  At least now I know what to expect if I go to hell - I will be eternally 7 1/2 months pregnant, working 12 hour night shifts at a hospital, bending and lifting 400 pound patients who keep their thermostats set to 80 freaking degrees - oh yeah - and they are all in isolation rooms which means I have to gown, glove, and mask before entering (and bringing them a warm blanket) - all in the burning inferno that is July.  I told my charge nurse that next time I come in to work, I am wearing my workout clothes.  Or a mumu.

And of course, I write this all in a kidding, teasing, good humor kind of way.  Sort of.