Where Much Is Given, Much Is Required. Or Is It The Other Way Around?

Luke 12:48 "...For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required."

I have been given much, and these last 2 years I have felt like much has been required of me. Sometimes more than I felt I was able. But then, looking back, I believe the reverse is more true. Much has been required of me, and yet I have been given much, much more.

Amazing.

Examples:

My alarm frequently went off at 4AM. I frequently slept less than 4-5 hours a night. I frequently worked 12 hour shifts. Some paid. More unpaid. And when I heard that beep at 4AM, sometimes I'd cry. And I would be filled with exhaustion and despair. And then I'd roll out of bed, onto my knees, and tell Him, "I cannot do this alone." And I wasn't alone. Ever. The energy always came. The despair always dissipated. The calm and confidence always filled me.

Tim was unemployed/self employed for 1 1/2 years. We always had enough. And even extra some months. We are, amazingly and unbelievably, better off financially than we were before Tim got laid off. How? I have no idea.

I have been super healthy all through nursing school - minus a few colds and the stomach flus - there was never anything major. I even trained for and ran 2 half marathons during this whole ordeal. It blows my mind!

My boss is super, super flexible and understanding, and I love my job. (Much thanks to Heidi and Gerrit for the reference!) I could not have had a better job while I went to school. I will be terribly sad to leave, but I cannot convince my boss to pay me RN wages to be a lab tech.

I have the most supporting family. Ever. Period. No way could I have done this without my parents and siblings. Tons of sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Outings with the aunties. Time taken off work so that I could make it to class or clinicals or work. And I never worried about my kids. They are the luckiest niece and nephew, grandson and granddaughter. Ever. Period.

I have an amazing, hardworking, supportive, loving husband who talked me into doing this. Because he knew I wanted to. And he stepped up and did dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, bath and bed times, reading times, and play times. In between working out at Dugway, running his garage door business, fixing and selling cars, and being Young Men's president. Because he loves me. That much.

There is something to be said about accomplishing something huge. Something unbelievably hard. I am so satisfied with my life right now - it's like I'm on a constant high. Interesting, during each phase of my life I always thought, "This is the hardest thing I've ever done!"

While Tim was stationed in South Korea for 1 year and I was in Utah - it was the hardest thing I'd ever done!

When we moved to Alaska, away from my family, and Tim worked so hard in the Air Force and I went to school and worked - it was the hardest thing I'd ever done!

When Tim was deployed, and I still lived in Alaska - it was the hardest thing I'd ever done!

When I had a baby, in Alaska, away from my mama - it was the hardest thing I'd ever done!

When we got out of the military and moved back to Utah - homeless and unemployed - it was the hardest thing I'd ever done!

When I had TWO babies under the age of 2 - it was the hardest thing I'd ever done!

When Tim lost his job - it was the hardest thing we'd ever done!

When I went to back to work and then started nursing school - I honestly believe that THIS is the hardest thing I've ever done! So far ....

But right now. Right at this very moment.... I love all the "hard" things I've ever done. Because they were all amazing. They were all worth every minute.

And right now ....

I am loved. I am happy. I am content.