What's Your Sign? Tell Me Yours - I'll Tell You Mine.

I rarely read my horoscope. Maybe once a year. Maybe. Apparently, I'm too practical for that kind of stuff. According to my horoscope.

But when I do, sometimes I'm surprised how oh-so-right-on they are. And sometimes I just laugh out loud - because - oh my gosh, that is so not me.

Hi! My name is Katie, and I'm a CAPRICORN.

Also known as "The Sign Of The Goat."

Really? A Goat. Not something cool like a tiger? Or a falcon? Nope. A goat. A goat that signifies motivation, practicality, and determination. Oh. Ummmm. I just thought goats ate everything. And were good for milking on occasion. My bad.

Well, in case you're trying to figure me out, here's a little personality profile:

CAPRICORN: THINGS THAT ARE OH-SO-RIGHT-ON

*"Capricorns have an excellent sense of humor, which tends to be rather wry or dark." Hi! Have you read my blog?! And if you think 90% of my posts aren't sarcastic .. well then you probably shouldn't be reading my blog. Or you've tried calling DCFS on me. More than once.

*"They are slow to trust, and they don't let their emotions show easily." Probably why I've offended most of you at at some point. Because you think I don't care. OK - actually, I don't. And probably why there are only a handful of you who really know me. And probably why I get asked "Are you mad?" All. The. Time.

* "Capricorns don't usually bring their problems to others ... they find it hard to open up to other people." Yeah - I probably need counseling. But, oh, wait - I have a hard time opening up. That might be a waste of perfectly good money.

* "But when they do (open up and establish deep relationships) they have a tendency to be very loyal, reliable, and trustworthy." Go ahead. Ask my 2 friends.

* Capricorns have good memories, both for those who have helped them and those who have harmed them. " Yep. Just ask Tim. Poor, poor soul.

*Capricorns are also prone to anxiety" (HELLO!) "and this, combined with a tendency toward cleanliness can in some cases manifest as (wait for it .... ) a germ phobia." ((Who read the puking blog?!?))

* "Capricorns are very logical and intellectual, which can make them seem detached or even cold" Yeah - sorry about that. It's not you. It's me.

*..."BUT they are actually quite sensitive with those they care about" Sooo .. if you think I'm sensitive and caring, then apparently, you're on the good side of that really looonnng memory of mine ...

* "Capricorns usually stay in good shape because of their strong need for exercise." It's all that pent up energy from not opening up to others. It has to be.

* "Capricorns tend to be highly active and have little tolerance for lazy people." Again - just ask Tim. He works 70 hours a week, but I still have one long To-Do list waiting for him. It's also why I worked, went to nursing school, served in Young Women's, was a mom to 2 toddlers, and trained for and ran 2 half marathons and almost stayed sane through it all.

CAPRICORN: THINGS THAT ARE SO-NOT-ME

*"Capricorns are the gateway to the infinite. " What the hell does that mean?

* "They are good organizers." OK - I would be - if I HAD THE TIME. And didn't have 2 children. Or a messy Leo husband.

* "Capricorns [want] fame, prestige, and money." Not so much. Except the money part.

* "Thankfully, Capricorns are patient." Wait. What? Bwahahahahahaha. Unfortunately for my children and husband, I did not receive this quality.

*My personal favorite: "Capricorns are least compatible with Leo..." AKA Tim. Interesting. Who wouldn't be compatible with Leos who are "generous, warmhearted, faithful, and loving." Oh - maybe it's the fact that Leo's tend to be optimistic, while us Capricorns have a wry, dark sense of humor. And the fact that Leos tend to have a soft spot for children and cute, fuzzy animals. Because, you know, Capricorns hate those things.

So, what's your sign? Tell me yours - I told you mine.